The Duggar family is back in the news again. No, it’s not about Josh molesting his sisters – this time it’s about Michelle Duggar advising women on marriage. She tells newlywed women:
Be “joyfully available” to your husband’s sexual needs at all times, whether you feel like it or not, because a wife must always submit to her husband’s sexual desires.
Yes, she is referring to marital rape.
But she isn’t alone. There are many websites and books and religious leaders who advise married men and women on their roles in the bedroom. Specifically saying things like “men should not tolerate refusal”.
And then women who do not enjoy sex with their husbands should simply fake it. But what if a woman resues to fake it? No problem, they have advice for that too!
Your beautiful bride’s face becomes ugly during this sinful time that she is grudgingly giving you sex as she grimaces wanting you to ‘just hurry up and get it over with’.
Focus your eyes on her body, not her face. Focus on the visual pleasure you receive from looking at her body and physical pleasure you receive from being inside your wife. You want to connect with her physically AND emotionally during sex. But your wife is the one refusing to connect with you emotionally, so you have to concentrate 100% on the physical side.
I wished I could tell you that this was all just a joke and the people who wrote this were only kidding. But sadly that isn’t the case. This is real advice that Christian leaders pass on to their followers.
They justify marital rape by saying in the Bible it says that sex is both a gift and a duty in marriage.
Apparently, things like consent don’t matter to Christians and by Michelle Duggar’s statement, that shows it doesn’t matter to her either.
Even if you are exhausted she advises you suck it up and be “joyfully available” to your man to fulfill his every need. Smile and be willing to say yes to him at all times, anytime – even if you are pregnant.
This one is hard to even wrap my head around. It’s also dangerous advice to be giving. Women have the right to say no. They shouldn’t have to comply with anything, even if they are married.
It’s okay to say no. You shouldn’t feel pressured into doing something you don’t want to do. Shame on Michelle Duggar or anyone else for tries to make you feel otherwise.