Is he cheating on you? Here are the signs ...

Is he cheating on you? Here are the signs …

I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve gotten emails wanting to know if their boyfriend was cheating.  While I’m not a psychic and can’t say for sure, I can tell you some things to watch out for so that you can figure out on your own is your man is cheating on you.

A leopard does not change his spots!

If your boyfriend has a history of cheating, chances are he’s going to do it again. You know the saying ladies … once a cheater, always a cheater. Sorry but it’s a proven fact.

Look at Hollywood sweetheart Sandra Bullock. When she got with her husband Jesse James, his current girlfriend was seven months pregnant with their child. He left his 7 months pregnant girlfriend and ran off with Sandra Bullock. They got married and guess what? Jesse James ended up cheating on her with multiple women. Just remember rule # 1, if he cheated with you, he will cheat on you.

The Biggest Signs He’s Cheating On You:

  1. He’s on his phone or online more than usual
  2. Cares about his appearance much more than usual
  3. He’s suddenly very busy with work
  4. He avoids intimacy with you
  5. Avoids having sex with you … or wants it all the time
  6. He hasn’t taken his online dating profile down
  7. He suddenly needs a lot of privacy
  8. Hides his finances
  9. He picks fights with you
  10. He has major mood swings
  11. He gets overly defensive when you ask if he’s cheating
  12. He stops saying “I love you”
  13. His daily routine suddenly changes
  14. You smell another woman on him
  15. You feel it in your gut

Is he on his phone more than usual?

If your boyfriend is suddenly glued to his phone, this could be a sign he’s cheating — especially if he’s sneaky about it. If he doesn’t tell you who he’s talking or gets mad if you ask him about it, consider this a major red flag. A man who’s 100% into the relationship and doesn’t have another woman in the mix will have nothing to hide. He won’t be constantly texting someone else and acting funny about it. If you feel like his attention is always elsewhere, either directed at his phone or the computer, then he could be connecting with someone else online. If he acts defensive about it, won’t tell you more, and tries to hide it from you, this is a sign he’s cheating or about to cheat.

Does he care about his appearance more than usual?

If he suddenly takes a renewed interest in his appearance when you’re in an established relationship, he’s probably not trying to impress you. Has he joined a gym out of the blue? Is he trying to lose weight? If he never had an interest in working out before, he could be preening to try to attract someone new.

Is he trying out a more updated hairstyle? Shopping for new clothes and dressing differently? Maybe wearing a different cologne, one you didn’t choose for him? These are all common behaviors of men when they’re trying to attract women (you may remember some of them from when you first started dating him!) and don’t really mesh with how a guy acts when he’s already in an established relationship. Is it possible he just wants to feel good about himself and maybe impress you? Yes, of course. You can’t take any of these signs in a vacuum. You need to take the whole picture into account.

He’s suddenly very busy with work

If he suddenly has to travel out of town more frequently, or he’s having a lot more late nights at the office, it could be cause for concern. If he’s recently been promoted or his job has changed somehow, this might not be something to worry about. But if you know that’s not the case and he’s exhibiting some of the other signs here as well, it’s a definite cause for concern.

Is he going out after work more frequently for happy hours with people from the office? If there’s a new woman at work this could be a way for him to spend time with her off the clock and away from the office, to get to know her on a more personal level. If he never went to work happy hours before and suddenly starts going regularly, it could be a sign he’s testing the waters to cheat. It’s also possible he’s using “work” as a cover for whatever he’s out there doing. Saying you have to work is a tough excuse to argue with.

He avoids intimacy with you

This is not the same as avoiding sex, this is about demonstrating affectionate and loving behavior. If a man is cheating because he’s in love with someone new, it could make him feel like he’s cheating on his new love with you if he’s affectionate and loving with both of you, especially if he’s a loyal guy by nature and cheating is something new for him. Even if he’s not in love with the person he’s cheating with, someone engaging in infidelity can feel uncomfortable behaving intimately with a girlfriend because it runs counter to their cheating behavior. Unless he’s a total sociopath, he probably still has feelings for you, and that will make him feel guilty. Showing loving behavior toward you when he’s cheating on you would make him feel even worse.

Avoids having sex with you … or wants it all the time

Sex is a form of intimacy, so if he’s avoiding sex with you it could tie into the previous point. However, he could also be avoiding sex with you because he’s already having enough of it with someone else. Conversely, his sexual appetite may increase because the affair is leading to a surge in testosterone. Or maybe it’s a way for him to cope with his guilt. The key is, his sexual appetite and behavior have changed. Maybe he now has zero interest in having sex, or maybe he now has a voracious appetite for sex. Watch out for changes in his normal patterns.

He hasn’t taken his online dating profile down

While you closed your account the second you became official … you notice he never did. Or maybe he did, but you noticed it recently became reactivated. Or maybe someone you know stumbled upon him on a dating app … A man who isn’t looking to cheat will not leave his profile up once you’re official, and if he takes it down when you do, he definitely won’t reactivate it later. This is a clear sign he’s already cheating, or at the very least wants to. Does he have a dating app on his phone that wasn’t there before, or when you ask him to delete it you notice it’s still there weeks later? These are not the signs of a man who wants to be faithful.

He suddenly needs a lot of privacy

Is he cheating on you? Here are the signs ...

Everybody needs a certain amount of privacy, and people can be different about how much of it they need. Some people are fine with sharing their email passwords or leaving their Facebook pages open, others are not. The point is, he won’t be one way and then suddenly change without good reason. If he used to keep his phone unlocked all the time and leave it on the table when he left the room, and now it’s always locked and he takes it with him, or he used to leave his accounts open when he walked away from the computer and now he’s signing out first, there’s a reason.

Privacy about his personal space is important too. If he used to want to have you around right when he got off from work, and now he wants to go right to the bedroom for “me” time or a shower first, this could be a sign he’s cheating. In the end, relationships are about openness and sharing. You are working toward sharing a life together. If it felt like he was open and sharing before but now he’s suddenly shutting you out, it’s a huge red flag.

Hides his finances

While he used to leave his credit card statements or his phone bills out in the open, he’s suddenly very stealthy with all statements and receipts. If he’s spending money on someone new, he won’t want you to notice and question it. If you do happen to see receipts or statements, have his spending habits changed? A man who’s cheating is probably going to be spending more, whether for new clothes for himself, gifts for the woman he’s cheating with, or dinners out or even trips together. He won’t want you to know, so he’ll try to hide his finances when he used to be totally open about them.

He picks fights with you

If he’s started seeming angry with you all the time and you don’t know why, it could be because he feels bad and wants to turn you into the bad guy to alleviate his guilt. Is he being hypercritical? Nitpicking about every little thing you do that irritates him? He might be trying to focus on any trait of yours that could supply him with a justification for cheating, no matter how slim. If you’re wonderful, then he’ll feel terrible about betraying you, but if he can turn you into someone awful and make that a reason for him to cheat, on some level, it might make him feel a little bit better.

He has major mood swings

A new relationship can be exciting and fun, but it can also cause anxiety. If your man is cheating, he might be happy and upbeat one minute, somber and depressed the next. Maybe he’ll become euphoric at the opportunity of a rendezvous with the other woman, then let down when they’re unable to communicate for some reason. Or he’ll feel ecstatic one moment about her, then horribly guilty the next because of you.

A person who’s cheating is unlikely to have totally stable moods because the pull of having an affair is the excitement, the wild ups and downs. And there are all the mixed emotions- the excitement, the guilt, the confusion, the uncertainty of where to go next (stay with you or be with her). It will be very hard for him to hide this from you.

He gets overly defensive when you ask if he’s cheating

Is he cheating on you? Here are the signs ...

If he’s not cheating and you express concern, he’s not going to get really angry right off the bat. I’m not saying he won’t be hurt at the suggestion or insulted that you would think that about him, but he won’t immediately fly off the handle and attack you. If he does, he definitely doth protest too much.

This goes for if it’s the first time you ask if he’s cheating, of course. If you were cheated on in the past and this is a big issue for you and you’re constantly accusing him of cheating, eventually it can make any man angry and defensive. But if this is the first time you’ve mentioned it and he goes ballistic, this is indicative of a guy who is truly guilty. Of course, a guy who isn’t cheating is going to deny it. But that will be more of a genuine denial. When his denial seems dramatic and over-the-top, it’s because he’s putting on a performance.

He stops saying “I love you”

Again, the guilt! A man who’s cheating will probably not be comfortable showing you affection and engaging in loving gestures like holding hands and hugging you, and this goes for his words as well. If he’s normally vocal about saying I love you and giving you compliments, and those three words are no longer said and the compliments have dried up, it means he’s distancing himself emotionally from you. This can be because he’s emotionally involved with someone else, or if the someone he’s seeing is just for pure sex, it could mean he still loves you and the fact that he’s cheating makes him feel guilty. He’s betraying you but doesn’t want to betray you with his words by saying things that don’t match up with his actions, because it makes him feel worse.

His daily routine suddenly changes

This can tie into some of the other signs here. Have his work hours changed noticeably? Maybe he’s staying later, or maybe he’s going in earlier so he can leave earlier but still come home at the same time, leaving his afternoons free to see someone new. Or maybe he’s getting up early to hit the gym, or working through lunch instead of spending it with you. A change in his daily routine could be as simple as that he used to call you every day at lunch, or when he was on his way home from work, but he no longer does. People are creatures of habit. When you’ve been with someone for a while, you become familiar with those habits. If all of a sudden he’s adopting an entirely new routine, something is up.

You smell another woman on him

It doesn’t have to be a perfume that’s not yours (although that’s a pretty significant tell!); maybe you smell cigarettes when he doesn’t smoke, or a new body wash that’s not from your shower. If he seems to have freshly showered at odd times, he could be trying to wash the smell of her off of him. Do you see lipstick stains on his clothing in a shade you would never wear? It’s hard if not impossible to hide all the evidence of cheating, especially sensitive stuff like this.

You feel it in your gut

If you have a terrible suspicion your man is cheating on you, there’s a reason. If you used to trust him and feel completely secure in your relationship but now his behavior is causing you to worry, you need to trust your instincts and not sweep things under the rug.


Is he cheating on you? Here are the signs …

7 thoughts on “Is he cheating on you? Here are the signs …”

  1. Yep. If a man has cheated before, he’s going to do it again. It’s just how those kind of guys are. Not all men cheat, but those who do will do it again and again and again and again.

  4. Yes, it’s a proven fact just about all men cheat. And once a cheater always a cheater, it’s so true. I’m not a hideous woman, I don’t have two faces, I want the “real life” one and only just for me husband, I will be a real woman and take care of you, I want only 1 man, and I will be true to him. All I ask is .. if you are in love with me, be with me, if you are in love with me..be true to me, if you love me…THEN DON”T FUCK OR BE INTIMATE WITH ANYONE!! Why is this so hard?? When men get hurt and they’ve been done wrong, holy shit…the whole world is ending call security…

    But men, oh nooooo fogettabouttit!!! I’ve been married for almost 24 years, At the last of Jan in 2019 my husband begged me to come back to him. Understand, I left him in Nov 2018 and got my own apt. He came to me, please don’t go through with the divorce i love you I’m a changed man, I see my ways, I fucked up please come back I love you, our grandkids need you our kids need you… Our kids are all grown, today our youngest is 24 so it’s not like I abandoned young ones at home. I was tired of being woken up by being cussed out, I was sick of him fucking around, I didn’t even feel like I was wanted, and feeling suicidal everyday!!!

    I needed to get out and away from this poison that was killing me. And I finally did! My dumbass, for weeks I tried not to talk to him because I know him…booofknhoooo please come back… After weeks passed talking to him him then and there, I let him come over so we could talk… Biggest mistake ever!!!!! I let him back in to my heart… I wanted to be loved I wanted a HUSBAND I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere I wanted someone to see that I existed… I moved back in and went to court to tell them I didn’t want the divorce any longer… I need to shot in the fucking head,,,,,please help me!!!! Not even a month passed and his Mom passed, a beautiful wonderful human being… So we went through some grief and then shit really began to unravel again.. This piece of shit started in messing around, after begging me and swearing on everyone he loves me and will never ever hurt me. YEAH OK!! In Aug 2019, he has been driving an 18 wheeler…over the road…go figure.. He had to use my phone when he left because his camera was not working. On my phone I had a recording app installed that would record any calls going in and out… Well, whiel he was gone stuck in Dodge City and Liberal KS we would talk, and video chat. A few times things were sounding crazy like someone was there, and he couldn’t pay attention or hold a conversation. Remember he is in his 18 wheeler so no one else is around to interrupt us. He keeps on laying down TURNING HIS BACK TO THE PHONE THAT HE LAID ON THE COUNTER!! All I can hear is smacking, the sound you make when you kss someone.. Long story short, I got an old android phone and started recording what I heard over my pc.. Like I was going crazy… Of course I would confront him on it and he would get very very loud defensive cussing me telling me I’m crazy yadayadayada.. Well, he ended up breaking my phone one of those nights. Now I’m at home and all I know is I just told him to turn on the light cuz it sound like a woman was on top of him..he was holding the phone to his face..everything else was completely black..and he was doing his fake snoring that he does when he just wants me gone or to hang up..I could hear someone set shit down..mattress creaking..rubbing on sking, then moaning like she just sat on his d… I start yelling and I do mean YELLING and as soon as I say RICKY TELL ME GOODNIGHT AND YOU LOVE ME SO I CAN HANG UP…wouldn’t you know it by the grace of God he popped up like he was on fire…then I told him, turn on the light, boooom his camera goes off, Ricky u better turn on the light and your camera back on…booooom it hung up… and he wouldn’t answer back… One of the nights I called 20 times and he wouldn’t answer when I confronted him, very loud defensive I ain’t shit and how dare I question him and at that same time u can hear a females voice…put me on… put me on… Only I couldn’t hear it right then and there, I heard it after I found the recordings in Google Drive just by chance… there were a lot!!

    Well, yeah when u put a volume booster on the phone u can hear a females voice telling him what to say… WHAT TF?? My husband of 24YEARShas a female with him and this chick is telling him what to say…NAHHH But I confronted him, yup defensive very loud breaking another phone just like in Aug.and this time I got hands put on me again. This SOB grabbed me by my throat and threw me on the bed, I ended up with a lot of bruises..shit I’m getting old that shit hurts worst than ever. He broke a lot of my stuff, ruined what make up I did have, he threw my clothes downstairs told me to get the f out… WHY u may ask?? Because I told him I came across those recordings and I wanted him to listen to hear what I heard…holy Jesus you would think I just asked this punk to skin his first born alive…Damnnn he got mad… So I know him, I’ve been with him through so much crap, from unfaithfulness, deaths, kids stuff, grandkids being born, losing jobs..everything..I know him..when he’s guilty he is defensive..you ask him a question and it pertains to him might being guilty..watch out cuz his strong ass arms hands and muscles are about to do some damage. Well, since our kids our grown I don’t get them into our business, my Mom passed away in 2012 from kidney cancer, I have brothers and sisters but haven’t spoken to them in over a year, I do not have any friends that I talk to on a daily weekly or even monthly basis… It’s just him and me, but of course him driving a truck in the metroplex now he’s back in old stomping grounds… I forgot to mention, the crazy time in Aug, after he broke my phone I hadn’t heard from him, yeah I got worried, he has never went very long without calling me unless he had no service even then he found a way just to make sure I was at home if anything..Well 14hrs passed, I can’t take it, I am thinking this fool had a wreck and dead somewhere..I called dispatch and told them to tell him to call me immediately, through their electronic logs in the truck..Well….hours passed NO CALL.. then I had found these few numbers in his call logs, I texted one of them “TELL RICK HIS WIFE PASSED AWAY!!” Within 45mins sending that msg, I got a call..When I asked the phone I was crying and just hmm, he started saying, ANT! (my youngest son) ANT is she okay..ant is she okay, u could hear a female crying in the background…I said yeah i’m okay, and he sounded shocked as hell..he said i broke the phone i’ve been looking for a metropcs, by this time he went through 5 states!!

    Any way, he had no rhyme or reason why he called me then except he got a message and he don’t know who sent it.. I said who is the bitch, he said dispatch told me to CALL HOME, that’s it call home, no mention of me, death, nothing…so he still won’t say just gets pissed off.. Well those phone recordings were on the phone I wasusing too.. When I listened to that call, before I answered he told her ‘I MIGHT BE GOING TO A FUNERAL” and with a grin on his face. You know how someone tells you somehting on the phone abnd you can tell they are smiling, yup that one. So other crap happened and I just keep brushing it off brushing it off…I’ve been in the mental hospital twice for trying to kill myself, God I wished I would have succeeded. Present day after more shit happened, I’m downstairs talking to my daughter in law and playing with my grandson, me cell phone beeps.. It’s a notification that Ricky just added a photo to his library in Google.. It’s some naked chick in a thong…!!! And I check the data, he’s telling this chick, in a sec she’ll get mad and I’ll just leave and head that way..I want you to c…m in my mouth, you are so sext, I want to fcuck you…. WHY DO I PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT>>>WHY.. I’ve blocked shit out so much I can’t remember anything before the last 5 months.. I’m only 46… I’m so done.. SO YES ONCE A CHEATER ALLLLLWAYS A CHEATER GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN CUZ I PROMISE YOU HE”S NO DIFFERENT.. just don’t be a dumbass and think you need to stay cuz you have knowhere else to go

  8. nomoremeninthe95008

    All men cheat. It’s their nature. The worse problem is when the lie about who they are. I met Jeff ford on match when he contacted me. I met his family, the whole shebang. A year later, I find out he is: gay, alcoholic, adhd, on psych meds, can’t hold a job. He’s on the down low with men in gay bars but then told me he wants to get married and have kids. Watch out ladies!


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