Someone posted this on Facebook awhile ago and I thought it was so funny so I wanted to share it with you.
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but is on sale.
- A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, a razor, shampoo, a bar of soap and a towel.
- The average number of items in a woman’s bathroom is 337. The typical man would not be able to identify more than 20 of those items.
- A man sees colors in basic terms like red, purple, pink and yellow.
- A woman woman sees colors in terms of shades like grape, orchid, lavender, carnation, strawberry, bubblegum, magenta, and salmon.
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out to lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out to lunch they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Dickhead and Shit for Brains.
- When the bill arrives, Mike Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though the final bill is only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none of them will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
- Men typically can forget but can’t always forgive.
- Women typically can forgive, but rest assured, they will never forget.
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he never does.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she always does.
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, to read a book and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
- A woman knows all about her children. She know about dentist and doctor appointments, their romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, their hopes and their dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.